Some Basic Facts about Canada: (How to Impress the Natives or
disguise yourself as a Local)
Think Canadians aren't you best friends, America? Click here
Here's where I take a friendly dig, aimed mainly at our friends in the
United States. (Although you ignorant Europeans, Australians and Asians aren't exempt
either) Please don't take this as an insult to your intelligence, its meant to be
tongue-in-cheek. There is no country on earth we would rather have as a neighbour. We just
wish, most Americans would take the time to learn more about us. Only 1% of
Americans, for example, know that Canada is the largest customer for US Goods &
Services, and that Canada is the main source of Oil & Gas for the US. (Come on,
admit it, you didn't know that!) Let's start
first with the fact we do not all live in igloos and despite the logos all over
this page, we are not in a deepfreeze 10 months of the year. (Well the 90% of us
huddled along the US border aren't, anyway)
We share the worlds longest (5000 Km / 3000 mile) undefended
border with the United States. If nothing else, that's a testament to the
special relationship we share with our American brothers. In most places you could easily walk across
unchallenged (although 911 has tightened it up considerably). Try that on the US-Mexican border
and see how far you get. We have only ever fought one
war with the US (which, we won by the way, although I wouldn't bet much on our
chances in a re-match). We share similar Cultures, and most foreigners can't
tell a Canadian from an American. Most Canadians identify closely with the
United States, but on the other hand, we don't like being mistaken for Americans
when travelling abroad. Canadians tend to have mixed feelings toward the United
States. In many ways we feel like a mouse sleeping next to an Elephant. (Sorry,
not to offend you Democrats, sometimes its like sleeping next to a Donkey)
In some
ways we envy the patriotic fervour of Americans, although we tend to make fun of
it. We tend to think of ourselves as more open minded than Americans, but we are
not. Americans are more outwardly friendly than Canadians & I hate to say it but
some Canadians are a royal pain in the butt when traveling in the States.
Canadians love to discuss American Politics. This is often interpreted as
criticism of the US, and in some cases it is. In most cases it's simply because
anything that happens in the US has a direct effect on Canada.
Most Americans do not understand our Quebec problem,
(those who know where Quebec is) and why we tolerate it. I'm sure if Quebec had
been a part of the US, they would have sent in the Marines by now. A lot of Canadians wish they would.
Unfortunately, the American Public Educational System, in the past, has
been somewhat insular, and a large number of American's know very little about Canada. The
reverse is not true, although in all fairness, the United States is a bigger player on the
world stage, so we would be expected to know more about them, than the other way around.
Personally, I found American History much more interesting than Canadian when I was in
school, so maybe they are lucky they did not have to learn too much about us.
A lot of people still picture a typical Canadian as a lumberjack type
figure in a plaid shirt, sipping on Maple Syrup, living in a log cabin in the woods. In
actual fact we are virtually indistinguishable from the average American.
Here's your chance to learn about
us. Read on.
I have compiled a list of basic facts about Canada,
with which to impress the natives, when you visit. It was accurate as of Winter
2006.
1) Canada's government is based
on the British Parliamentary System. The current Leader (called a Prime
Minister) is Stephen Harper, who took over from Paul Martin, on eof Canada's shortest term PM's. Canada, does not have fixed
election dates as in the US. Elections are called by the Prime Minister, but must be held
at least every 5 years. There are 2 houses of Parliament (like the US Congress and
Senate). The elected house is called the House of Commons and the non elected house is
called the Senate (equivalent to the House of Lords in England). The Senate is a largely
ceremonial institution, useless in the eyes of most Canadians. Senators are appointed for
life, (usually through patronage appointments) and most collect a hefty salary without
even showing up. Its a big pig trough, actually (I wish knew how to become one). Members
of the House of Commons are called Members of Parliament or MP's for short. The Prime
Minister is like any other MP, in that he must win a seat in an election. (Represent a
geographical area). The leader of the successful party in an election is automatically
Prime Minister. It is possible for a party to win an election, and the Prime Minister
lose. This has happened in the past. Usually a successful MP from a safe riding
(geographical area) will resign and a by-election held, to give the Prime Minister a seat
in Parliament.
During the last 35 years, most Canadian Prime Ministers, Anglophone &
Francophone, have come from Quebec. The current PM, Stephen Harper is from Alberta, a Province much like Texas in thinking & economy. Maybe not so odd, then that he is often pictured as a George Bush clone.
The main political parties in Canada are at present, the Conservatives (the
party in power, similar to the Republicans in the US), the Liberal Party similar to the Democrats in the US), the NDP (left wing party, similar to
Labour in Britain) and the Bloc Quebecois (A party dedicated to Quebec Independence and
the break-up of Canada). The Conservative Party, a big player in the past, was almost
completely wiped out a few elections ago. They then united with a
party further to the right, called the Canadian Alliance. In March 2004,
they elected their new leader, Stephen Harper, who was formerly the leader of the
Alliance party. The Conservative Party currently runs a "minority" government which means that they have the majority of seats in Parliament, but still under 50% of the total. This curbs his abilities, considerably. The Canadian political landscape is much more diverse than in the US.
Canadians do not pre-declare a party affiliation before they can vote, as is the
case in the US. The Canadian system also make it far easier for small parties to have
representation in the government. There is a table of links to the web sites of the major
Canadian Political Parties at the bottom of this page.
2) Canadian
Provinces are the equivalent of US States. The Provincial leader is called a Premier
(equivalent to a Governor in the US) and the same rules of government apply as at the
federal level. Canadian Provinces have more control over their own affairs with respect to
the Federal government, than is the case in the US. The most volatile politics
on a Provincial level are found in Quebec & British Columbia. In BC, the last 4
governments in a row have been mired in scandal.
3) Canada uses
the Metric System, Kilometres instead of Miles, Kilograms instead of Pounds, etc. Most
Canadians over 25 years of age, understand the old system, and use both. Most Canadians
over 65 have not yet fully embraced the Metric System. Its hard to admit that the French
actually came up with a better idea than the British, but the United States, at least, is
still upholding the tradition.
4) Canadians tend
use the British spelling of words, as you have probably noticed on these web pages. In
other words, we spell "neighbour" instead of "neighbor",
"valour" instead of "valor", etc. We also pronounce the letter
"Z" as Zed, not Zee. We also tend to pronounce words properly (original English)
and are less likely to truncate or slur them as most Americans do. We have, however,
adopted some American expressions, such as "yeah" for "yes". Snobby,
aren't we? If you think that's bad, try using English in Quebec and see what happens.
5) If you are an
American, and want to blend in with the locals, simply add "eh" at the end of
most sentences. You will sound just like a Canadian, unless your from the deep South of
course.
6) Canada is
divided into 10 Provinces and 3 Territories. They are from East to West - Newfoundland
(pronounced Newfunland) and Labrador, Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick,
Quebec, Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan (pronounced Sas-catch-chew-on), Alberta and
British Columbia. Newfoundland and Labrador count as one. Two Provinces are
referred to by their initials in general conversation, rather than the full
name. These are BC & PEI.
The 3 Territories are the Yukon, Northwest Territories and Nunavit
(pronounced Noon-a-Voot). Nunavit is administered by the Inuit (Eskimos) and is actually a
result of the worlds largest aboriginal land claim settlement. Back in the
1800's we found it too cold to go up and shoot them all, or infect them with
Smallpox like we did most of the Southern tribes, so now we have negotiate with
them.
7) You NRA types
will be disappointed to learn that the right to bear arms is not part of the Canadian
Constitution. It is illegal to be in possession of an unlicensed firearm, and a license is
not easy to obtain. We much prefer to knife or poison each other. If you wish to shoot
someone, you have to go to a lot more effort, here in Canada. Americans have, however,
successfully managed to bring their guns into Canada, undetected and sometimes quite
innocently, at times. In August 1998, a room maid found a gun belonging to an American
tourist under the mattress in a hotel room. This resulted in the arrest of the hapless
visitors. It was obvious that they did not realize that they were in violation of Canadian
laws and were soon released, minus their firearms of course, which were confiscated.
Bummer. There is a bit of a furor over gun registration taking place in Canada.
Even Charlton Heston has been up here to give his opinion. (I think he's against
it). Most Canadians like having restrictions on firearms, although the
government is going a bit overboard, I think, especially with regards to hunting
rifles. A lot of US border towns have lockers where armed Americans can store
their guns while they visit Canada. They can retrieve them when they go back,
and resume shooting. You may bring a rifle into the country, but you have to
obtain a permit before crossing the border with it. The only exceptions are
Police Officers going to official functions, Presidential bodyguards & that sort
of thing. Even that is up to the discretion of Immigration Canada.
Here is the link to the latest regulations: Canadian
Firearm Regulations
8) The capital of
Canada is Ottawa, it is located in the Province of Ontario. It is on the border with
Quebec. The city on the Quebec side is known as Gatineau (formerly Hull). The capital of Canada is
NOT Toronto. We all hate Toronto, at least those of us that don't live there.
9) The 3 largest
cities in Canada are Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver, in that order. (Toronto -
4.5 Million, Montreal - 3 Million, Vancouver - 2 Million) They are located in
Ontario, Quebec and British Columbia respectively. 80% of Canadians live within 100 km of
the US border. Its not that we want to get close enough to hug our American neighbours,
it's just that it's warmer closer to the border.
10) Canada has
two official languages, English and French. Quebec is French Speaking, as are parts of New
Brunswick and Manitoba. Most Canadians are NOT bi-lingual. Do not expect to be able to
communicate in English in Quebec except in Montreal and areas close to the Ontario or US
borders. People in the more rural areas may not speak any English, very limited
English, or refuse to speak it. You are, however, more
likely to find a French Canadian who can speak English, rather than the other way around.
People in Quebec are fiercely proud of their language. Personally I find it a lot harder
to understand than English. I could not understand our former Prime Minister in either language,
but he was very "poop-u-laar". Someone told me once that the French spoken in
Quebec is similar to the "peasant" French, spoken in France in the 17th century.
This may explain why French Canadian French is sneered at in France.
11) You cannot
buy beer and wine in grocery stores in Canada. Apart from Quebec, you have to
buy booze from a Government
liquor store or a licensed beer and wine store. The laws in Alberta are a little
more lax than in other parts. As of 2003, there are now also some private Liquor
stores in BC, but they have to buy their stock at the same price the public buys
it in Government stores, & therefore have a large markup. Unless it's a Sunday,
go to a government store.
12) The Island
off the coast of BC is called Vancouver Island, not Victoria Island. A lot of Americans
make this mistake. Victoria is the largest city on Vancouver Island and is the capital of
British Columbia. Contrary to a common local myth, you could not fit all the British Isles
within Vancouver Island. You could fit about 2/3 of England itself.
13) Canada has a
mutual defence agreement with the United States, known as NORAD. The original idea was
that, we would shoot down incoming ICBM's from the Soviet Union over Canada. That way they
would fall on Canadian Cities instead of American ones. The Americans thought this was a
great idea, and gave us lot of swell radar and missile silos to install on our territory.
This may go to prove, that Americans are on the whole, a lot smarter than
Canadians, however I think most Canadians figured the cities to be hit would be
Toronto & Montreal - no great loss. The organization is a little redundant with the break-up of the Soviet Union, and a lot of
the American Installations have been disassembled and they have left us some great toxic
waste to clean up, but what are friends for, eh. OK, before you think I'm trashing the US
for polluting Canada, you need to know that Canadian Companies are among the worst
world-wide polluters. We are well known for dumping toxic substances in third world
countries, including those long-banned in Canada & the US.
The other side of the coin is that our proximity to the the US, the most
benevolent empire in world history, has allowed us to slack off on our own
defense & military spending & ride on their coattails. We sneaky Canucks figured
out a few decades ago that the our friends in the US would rapidly come to our
rescue if we invaded by an unfriendly power, since that power would likely also
be unfriendly to them. This has allowed us to use 300 million US citizens as
substitute Canadian taxpayers. Pretty smart, huh?
We are also in a free trade agreement with the United States, Mexico
& Chile. This is not as strong a union, as is the case with the European Community.
Canada and the US are each others strongest trade partners, however, and are more
dependent on one another than most people think.
14) Canada has 3
national TV networks. The government network is the CBC. A large portion of
Canadian TV programming is American, with the exception of the CBC, and some
cable specialty networks.
Canadian television is best known for its high quality documentaries and news programming,
which tends to be far less biased than that produced in the US. Canadian newscasters are
in big demand in the US and many of their best known News anchors are actually Canadian
(such as Peter Jennings and Morley Safer). On the same subject, many American Comedians
are also actually Canadian (Jim Carey, Dan Akroyd, Michael J. Fox, John Candy, Leslie
Neilson to name a few) . For a complete list click HERE
15) Ottawa, along
with Moscow is the coldest capital in the world. At least we can afford to heat it.
The government is based there, and no, the Parliament Buildings are not made of
ice.
16) Canada is
still the second largest country in the world, even after the break-up of the Soviet
Union, but not by much.
18) Basketball,
Baseball & Hockey were invented in Canada, so was the telephone. Contrary to most
American beliefs, Alexander Graham Bell was a Canadian (Well he was actually
kinda American, Scottish & Canadian). Michael Jordan (basketball star),
however, is American. Some other notable Canadian inventions are Newsprint, the anti-G
suit (worn by jet fighter pilots), the Combine Harvester, the Jolly Jumper, the plastic
green garbage bag, the roller-skate, Cable TV, AM Radio, the walkie-talkie, Smarties,
automobile air conditioning, (no, we just didn't leave the window open in winter)
snowmobiles, the streetcar, electric cooking range, the paint roller, the washing machine,
the zipper, kerosene, insulin, the electron microscope, the oil well, the wonderbra, the
flight simulator, Trivial Pursuit, and believe it or not - Superman. Canada also produced
the worlds first jet airliner, but it never went into production. The worlds first
commercial movie was also produced in Canada. Here is a link to a larger list: http://inventors.about.com/library/weekly/aa090100a.htm
19) The official
National Sport of Canada is Lacrosse, an Indian game, but hardly anybody knows how to play
it. The most popular Sports are Ice Hockey and Curling. "American" Football is
played (not soccer) although the game is somewhat different than in the US. Here
is a link to differences: Canadian vs
American rules
20) The slang
term for a Canadian is "Canuck". South of the border in Northern Washington
State, we are known as Cheeseheads. This is because cheese is considerably cheaper in
Washington State than in BC and Canadians would buy big blocks of it to take home. With
the dollar decline this practice has subsided somewhat. In fact many businesses below the
border are going bankrupt.
21) If you are an
American, do not brag about American air power to a Canadian. Most Canadians still blame
the US Government for pressuring the Canadian Government to cancel the Avro Arrow (the
most advanced military Aircraft of the day) in 1958. (It was probably more likely due to
political reasons here at home, but the conspiracy theory is very popular) If you've never
heard of it, and are interested, check out the web page of this high school student: The Avro Arrow
Shrine. Another great site on this aircraft is Avro Arrow Recovery Canada . Showing a knowledge of the Avro Arrow to a
Canadian, will definitely gain you some respect. There is also a 4 hour "made for
TV" movie starring Dan Aykroyd available on this subject.
22) One of the
biggest differences between Canadians and Americans involve French Fries or Chips. Ask for
chips in the United States, and you will likely get potato chips (potato crisps). In
Canada you will get the deep fried strips of potatoes, known as French Fries in the US
(or since the dust up with the French over Iraq, Freedom fries). We
tend to use the term "Chips" and "Fries" interchangeably.
If you are an American, trying to disguise yourself as Canadian, a good
trick is to ask for vinegar with your chips (French fries). The usual wording is
"Have any vinegar, eh?" This request will usually elicit a look of disgust in
the United States, but the practice is quite common in Canada. Another peculiar Canadian
invention is Poutine. This disgusting concoction originated in Quebec where massive
amounts of the stuff are consumed, daily. It consists of chips (or French Fries if you
prefer) , Cheddar Cheese & hot BBQ Sauce. You can plug your arteries up
with cholesterol, by just looking at it. Burger King now offers it, if you want to try it.
I have been informed by a Quebecer that the Cheese must remain hard. At least we don't eat that disgusting Vegamite stuff that the Australians are so fond of.
23) Everybody in
Canada seems to hate Toronto, except people who live in Toronto of course. In fact, hating
Toronto is a Canadian pastime. The slang term for Toronto (which Torontonians hate) is
Hogtown. I'm fuzzy on the origin of this, maybe some Torontonian could enlighten me. .I
don't really know why Canadians outside of Toronto have this view of the city. It is the
largest city in the country, but people there seem to think that if it doesn't happen in
Toronto, its not worth talking about. Rightly or wrongly, this is the perception of those
in the rest of the country, but everyone perceives their own city as more important, and
Toronto by its shear size bears more influence. Personally, I think Toronto is great city
and well worth a visit. My ex grew up there, I spent some time living there myself when I
was a child in the 50's, and I've been back many times since. For more info on Toronto try
my friends at http://www.toronto.hm or http://www.toronto2.com.
24) Still on the
subject of Toronto, the worlds tallest free standing structure is located there, the CN
Tower at about 550 meters or 1850 ft. It was built primarily to house TV and FM Radio
transmitters. It has a revolving restaurant near the top.
25) Montreal is
the 2nd largest French Speaking city in the World.
26) Laws in
Quebec are based on the Napoleonic Code rather than British Common Law as in the rest of
Canada and the United States. (I have been told that this is also the case in Louisiana,
which was originally settled by the French, as well. Actually they got the ones we threw
back). Technically speaking, this means you can be guilty until proven innocent, although
in practice the reverse is true, as in the rest of country. Quebec has some laws that
would be unconstitutional in the rest of Canada. For example, a store merchant in Quebec
can theoretically go to jail for displaying his sign with the English lettering
larger than the French. Although Quebec joined Confederation in 1867, it never signed the
new Canadian Constitution that replaced the British North America Act in the
70's, so theoretically is not bound
by its articles.
Quebec controls its own immigration, despite being a part of Canada. This is
a very strange thing. You may apply to immigrate into Quebec & then there is
nothing stopping you from moving to another part of Canada. If you speak French,
it is actually much easier to immigrate to Quebec than Canada. In the post 911
world, this is probably not a good thing, but until Quebec signs the Canadian
Constitution, there is little than can be done about it. To Americans, Quebecers appear to be very anti-American. Actually to Canadians, they also appear anti-Canadian. Truth of the matter is they feel threatened by all the English speaking provinces & States surrounding them.
27) Queen
Elizabeth of Great Britain is the official Canadian head of State, despite the fact Canada
is an independent country. This is a traditional thing and the Queen would actually never
exercise authority over Canadian affairs. (thanks to Greg Frey for this tidbit).
Her representative in Canada is known as the Governor-General. In the case of
the previous one, Adriane Clarkson, she spends public money just like she is the
queen.The current GC is originally from Haiti.
28) One of the greatest
Canadian inventions, is the Robertson screwdriver. This is generally unheard of
in the United States, although someone has told me, they have been making an
appearance below the border.. Robertson screws have a square shaped insert in
the head, meaning no slippage or stripping of the screw head. It is far superior
to the Philips or Star Head. You can actually lock the screw onto the
screwdriver head, making it possible to sink it with only one hand in awkward
places. Knowing what a
Robertson screw is, immediately identifies you as a native Canadian. They come
in 4 different sizes. The largest is identified by a black handled Screwdriver,
the middle size is the most common and identified by a red handled Screwdriver,
the next size down is identified by a green handled Screwdriver, and the
smallest a yellow handled Screwdriver. I have had American friends that have
been so impressed, they have taken a lifetime supply back across the border with
them. I suspect the greatest Canadian Invention may turn out to be the Ballard
Fuel Cell. This hydrogen fuel cell, developed in Vancouver will likely
revolutionize the automobile industry early in the next century. Already Ford
and Mercedes are planning production of cars using it, and it is being used in
some city buses in Vancouver and Chicago. The only exhaust is water vapour.
29) Canada has a
population of about 30 million. It is a G8 country. This supposedly means it is one of the
8 strongest economies in the world. The Canadian dollar, however, is only worth about
85
cents US. It has been as low as 62 cents U.S. 25 years ago it was worth more than a U.S. dollar. There is really no reason
for this, since Canada's economy is as strong, or stronger than that in the U.S. A lot of
people think its inevitable that we will eventually have a common currency. Hope the U.S.
decides to colour theirs before that happens.
30) Unlike the
United States, Canada is not hypocritical when it comes to trading with totalitarian
regimes. The United States ostracizes Cuba while trading with China, for example. How
hypocritical can you get? We, on the other hand, will deal with any country, no matter how
distasteful their politics. We have even given asylum to ex-dictators and despots.
We also love terrorists & War Criminals. If they
have money, they're welcome. If Osama bin Laden played hockey, he'd be welcome as
well. All kidding aside, we are well known for having lax border security, a
situation that is going to have to change after the events of 2001 if we want to maintain
an open border with the US.
31) The brother
of Canadian Comedian, Leslie Neilson, was a member of the Canadian Parliament for many
years. He looks just like his brother, but being a politician, does not have the same
sense of humour. This is not as odd as it may seem. Anyone who has seen the Canadian
Parliament in action will know that they all act like fools anyway.
32) Contrary to
popular belief, Canada has a large high tech industry. It is especially advanced in
telecommunications, and is the home of Nortel, one of the worlds main suppliers of
telephone switching equipment. (Just hope you didn't buy any any shares at
$100). Mitel , another large telecommunications company is also headquartered
here. I retired from telecommunications myself, but I specialized in Avaya (Lucent) an
American manufacturer.
33) The United
Nations has voted Canada as the best country in the world in which to live for the last 5
years in a row, but since the UN & the US seem to dislike each other lately,
they would hardly give the honour to the US.
34) Canada had its own home grown
terrorist organization in the 60's & the 70's It was called the FLQ (Quebec
Liberation Front). Political kidnappings & assassinations caused the Canadian
government to invoke the War Measures Act which stripped every Canadian
citizen of their civil rights. It was later rescinded & the FLQ faded away. The
problem with Quebec separatist aspirations continues. There have been 2
separation votes, the last one was only defeated by a slim margin.Like the US, we appear to be in the sights of the current batch of terrorists.
Want to learn more? Try the official Canadian government site at About Canada - Canada
Site, or these great sites: Canada kicks Ass & Canada eh?
